שׁוּבָ

So, a friend of mine asked me after church today if "the situation" was getting any better, (referring to the situation I blogged about in my anger last.) Anyhow, I was like, "well, no but its ok." I've been thinking about it and yes, the situation has changed. The most important of all changes has come about. No, there wasn't some Red Sea parting separating them from my ladies in the jail. They are still going to the jail. So, in that sense all is the same. The change I am speaking about is in my heart. This may sound extremely ironic but I think it is very easy for people in ministry to stop relying on God. Let me expound: I feel that when things are going smoothly its easy to get into a rhythm. Its a lulling rhythm that will put any normal human to sleep. It can be so lulling it borders on fatal. In other words, I think this strife may have been the jolt my ministry needed to save its life. Funny that I'm saying this. I can hardly believe it myself. When this problem arose I realized that I am not sufficient. All of my knowledge and all of my experience and all of my education means diddly when it comes to these things. You see, I cannot control everything. Sometimes things just happen. Its a hard lesson to learn, but a saving one. So let me clarify and restate: Yes, there has been a drastic change. I am learning to trust God; completely. My heart is softened. I lift my voice and cry to Him once again. It is my returning.